Emotional Attachment
Ever since I was a child, I am the one to get attached. While other children in pre school could easily recover once their parents left, I couldn't. My tears, once set in motion, don't stop easily. I become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in grade 1, I needed a best friend. As I grew older, being separated from my best friend shattered me. She belonged to Bangladesh and went back to her country after spending four years with me and making my childhood beautiful and memorable. I can't let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs and moments become objects of strong attachment. If things don't work out the way I want or imagined they should, I am devastated and disappointment for me is not an ordinary emotion. It is catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recover. I can never forget and the break never mends. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fix again. However, the problem is not with the vase or that the vases keep breaking. The problem is that I keep on putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I am dependent on my relationships to fulfil my needs. I allow these relationships to define my happiness or sadness, my fulfilment or emptiness, my security and even my self worth. Through these dependencies, I set myself up for disappointment and heartbreak. That's exactly what I find....one disappointment after another. Yet the people who break me are not to be blamed anymore than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can't blame the laws of Physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry our weight.
This world is a place where people are with you today and leave or die tomorrow but this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek love and strive for what is perfect and permanent.
All of us go through these feelings to some extent. But it's crucial that we out grow them. I was just like you. Always depending on others for my self worth. By harsh life lessons I learned to lean on the Only PERFECT ALLAH. Now I am not shattered on regular basis. Still some times the history repeats itself, but I recover quickly. I'm trying to become a Silicone vase now.
ReplyDeleteWe grow through what we go through. The same boiling water that softens a potato hardens an egg. It's not about the circumstances but what we are made of.
DeleteLoved your narrative.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much ma'am. Your appreciation made my day.
DeleteOhh my god this is so touching
ReplyDeleteThank you so much dear.
DeleteIt was a really good blog with lots of catchy, engaging and motivational phrases with the message. Just like it's your own way of thinking that you perceive glass full or empty. Happy writing and share your work.
ReplyDeleteMay I know your name?
DeleteI'm impressed Maheen. Beautifully written piece indeed. You've expressed yourself do immaculately Yes, we do lean on others and yes, we learn from our mistakes of making people into gods. And you're right we can't change our nature either. It's a difficult life. Especially when your emotions and feelings are not reciprocated. As Ruqqaya said the only infallible relationship is with The Almighty. Rest all is flawed and fleeting.
ReplyDeleteKeep on writing. You're doing a wonderful job.
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DeleteThank you so much dearest ma'am! It's just because of my great teachers like you who have enriched my vocabulary. Such encouraging words from YOU have overwhelmed me with joy and motivated me to pen down my thoughts regularly.
DeleteAttachment is good when it has boundaries and limits otherwise its painful. We should only have such attachment for God, Who will never leave us alone.
ReplyDeleteYour right... finally tge phrase relying on a twig really did explained every thing for even my own life. Your right its not natural.... but if the void is fact . So just where to fill it from.... for that i got an answer.
ReplyDeleteAs ever your words always are thought provoking and leads a chain of thoughts. Always a lovely discourse with you.
Thank you so much for motivating me to write something. I'm glad many people can relate to it. You are my best friend and always brings out the best in me.
DeleteThis was indeed the most phenomenal article i have ever read which exactly matched my feelings,I am so proud that i got to learn things from a tutor like you mam.May Allah bless you with the best.Prayers and wishes from your ex students.
ReplyDeleteRania Afzal
Thank you so much dear. Keep me in your prayers.
DeleteWow. Great writing skills. Converting emotions and feeling into words is not easy...but you can do it with beauty. May Allah pak bless you like your beautiful soul.
ReplyDeleteAameen summa aameen. Thank you so much for the appreciation. Stay blessed Aleena!.
DeleteA good effort. I believe that you are an excellent writer and have a very good expression. Your way of expressing your feelings and experiences with beautiful imagery and examples is really good. Keep it up and stay blessed.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the appreciation.
DeleteSometimes getting attached to things or humans is painful in the end but be strong like u always have been, inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves as u always did❤❤
ReplyDeletePerfectly expressed your inner feelings. I recall I poem that was part of BA course:
ReplyDeleteOne Art
Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like dis
Thank you so much for the appreciation. Yes, I remember ma'am Sadia Malik taught me this poem and time taught me this art of losing.
DeleteTOO GUD
ReplyDeleteThank you so much
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